Here are links to documents and other material that have come from people whose work I respect and which I’ve found useful.  I hope you find them helpful.

The STOP Exercise: a fast, structured method to re-establish emotional and intentional balance.

Basic Breath meditation: When we are meditating for calmness and deepening our sense of equanimity, the less cluttered our meditation the easier it is to cultivate and return to that sense of calm connectedness to the body that is its embodied basis.

Shift from Complaint to Request: When we talk to our partners, children, friends and, sometimes, colleagues, we often take a stance of complaining to them about what they should have done. This is a fine way of getting into a battle and side-lining the actual problem. This technique gives us a way of speaking for ourselves, about our needs in particular situations without making the issue one of blame for the other person.

Respond from Generosity: On the other side of the coin, we often respond to our partners complaints (skilful or otherwise) from a defensive position which concentrates more on avoiding blame than on understanding what is happening at this moment in our relationship. This technique helps us to listen from a more adult orientation to work on the problem and the relationship.

Giving up Power to Gain EffectivenessIn relationships with spouse, children or at work, we often try to get others to do things the way we think they should be done, which is always and of course the right way which is ours! Parents of teenagers know that this is often a battle that can’t be won. Everybody looses: parents and teen both end up unhappy and resentful. Here’s a different approach to these relationship battles: if they aren’t winnable, don’t fight them; use relationship intelligence, relational jiu-jitsu perhaps.

Controlled Drinking Programs: The Australian Centre for Addiction Research is a very useful resource for people who want to moderate their drinking, and for their families, and who perhaps are looking for an alternative to the 12-Step approach. Have a look at their programs under the “Services” menu item on their home page.

If you would like to explore any of these approaches, please call me on 0427 405 832 or (02) 8005 4852 or e-mail your enquiry via the Contact page.

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