Breathing for Mental and Bodily Calm

by simon on April 6, 2017

Meditation, sports psychology, emotional intelligence and relationship counselling all give a central role to breathing for mental and bodily calm. Whether taking deep slow breaths, doing patterned breathing (like 4-7-8 breathing) or simply being aware of the breath, this basic bodily function is a gateway to calm. This is established practical knowledge in all the […]


If you are in, or have been in a relationship then you’ve most likely been angry and have had anger directed at you. And we’ve all been in relationships, even if the latest for you is child with parent. However, it may be that anger isn’t the main issue. Anger is painful, both for the person […]


Adverse Childhood Events Trauma Adverse Childhood Events Trauma is finally beginning to be part of a wider conversation about the effect of childhood experience on mental and physical health. Twenty years ago, the US CDC sponsored a large scale, epidemiological study on the effects of what the study called Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) on health and […]


Relationship Glue

by simon on August 26, 2016

This article in Business Insider is a look at a central finding from John Gottman’s research into the relationship glue that keeps relationships working. This research informs the relationship therapy that Vivian and I practice. Relationship Glue In our relationships we are always communicating or attempting to communicate with our partner. Critical to relationship health are the […]


Meditation is NOT like taking a pill

April 4, 2015

In a recent interview in Tricycle, Dr. Willoughby Britton discussed the hype around meditation and mindfulness and emphasised that much of the research on which claims for the benefits of them are based are not as robust as they are often made out to be. She is also concerned about the claims for meditation as […]

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Therapy and Contemplative Spiritual Practice

December 4, 2013

The twin pillars of my internal life have been Buddhism and various encounters with psychotherapy, both as therapee and therapist.  This parallels the frequent intersection of, particularly, Buddhist spirituality and psychotherapy in the wider world (e.g. Welwood, Epstein, Kornfield, Siegel in USA and Barzaghi, Dawson and others here in Australia). So questions as to similarities […]

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The Power of Simplicity in Meditation

May 20, 2013

No matter how or why we meditate, the process of meditation is made more effective as our capacity to intentionally attend increases.  Many teachers talk about concentration as part of meditation and that is fair enough, however the word “concentration” frequently carries the sense of trying hard and bearing down on whatever we are concentrating […]

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I don’t want to meditate today.

March 12, 2013

Human growth is a contradictory experience.  We feel the boundaries of self expanding and the experience of humility growing at least as fast.  Our humanity means we are the inheritors of strengths and weaknesses and some of the more embarrassing among those weaknesses is the tendency to overestimate our strengths. The explosion of psychological research […]

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Developmental Coaching: What’s it about?

October 3, 2011

While our development as human beings is experienced as a unity, it is useful  to temporarily and artificially segregate individual facets to clarify what seems to be happening and to allow us to gain some traction in making changes.  Each of the  I offer through this site is aimed either at directly facilitating development or […]

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How Our Groups Work

October 2, 2011

Groups allow us to work at several levels with others.  They allow us to explore our own experiences in light of the feedback from others.  At a deeper level, they allow us to explore and share our relations with our collaborators in the group and get feedback from them on their experience of us.  This […]

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